My Neighbours Cat Is Evil!

Last night at about 8pm here in Britain, I decided to take out the rubbish and put it in the main bin outside, doing my bit for the planet. Any who as I collected the rubbish and braved the steep staircase to the front door carrying all this rubbish to the main bin in the garden I did not happen to notice anything unusual outside. The nights are getting darker here in Northern England so when its dark, its really dark outside, (as my friends on Facebook call it -Doom Dark) and you can not see straight away because your eyes are trying to adapt to this darkness and regrettably there is no outside light so that does not help either. Now I opened the front door and came out into the garden holding a bag of rubbish and at that point all was quiet I thought, so whilst my eyes were adapting to this dark I made my way to the bin which was to the side of me in the shadows. At first everything looked normal and this put me at ease, but when I got nearer to the bin I turned quickly and I instantly notice two green eyes staring at me and a small figure shape in the shadows sitting right on top of the bin. I got one hell of a fright, and threw the rubbish at the figure hoping to delay them whilst I made my escape the other way, the rubbish hit the bin and the cat got a fright and passed my leg instantly giving me a fright again. However I noticed the second time it scared me it had a silver collar with a bell, so I knew straight away it was my neighbours cat.
This cat has it in for me, I am sure of it, that makes three times the evil feline has done that this year, I am pretty sure its trying to kill me, the last time this happened the cat jumped out at me when I was unaware it was there and landed on my back, jumped off landed on the ground and ran one way whilst I ran the other way screaming, feeling violated and most upset by this evil cat that had scared me yet again.
I am so going to get that cat back for all of these frights, (goodness I sound like a bad guy from Scooby Doo - "and I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for that meddling cat!") I mean I would not hurt the poor thing you understand I hate cruelty to animals, but I think I am going to keep the hose pipe there tonight then if the feline decides to scare me again I will be ready for it.

Well I have been left with a few simple choices on how to resolve this Kitty Killer situation and have narrowed them down to these 5 :

1 - Use the hose pipe and give Kitty a bath?

2 - Jump out at Kitty wearing a life jacket and re-enact the titanic?

3 - Just ignore Kitty?

4 - Electrify the bin and Fry Kitty Fry?

5 - Mine field the front garden?

I think I am going to use the hose pipe although the others do sound fun I really don't like cruelty to animals, yes even towards evil and cruel, sadistic cats as well I hate people who can harm animals, its just wrong and they should be locked up..

So I will keep you all posted about the evil Kitty that lives across the fence from me and how I manage to keep sane and alive when being scared out of my wits by this evil twisted feline. Hopefully I will have some news of how I nicely scared it back... :)